Buy American and Get Free Gas or Free Gun
Go to Butler, Missouri and you’ll find Max Motors, an independent car dealer that specializes in (i.e. only sells) American cars. Yup, under one roof you can buy a Buick, Cadillac, Chevy, Chrysler, Dodge, Ford, Jeep or Pontiac. Your guess is as good as mine if they sell Korean-made Aveos, Mexican made Fusions or Canadian made all sorts of stuff. Oh wait, I checked, they do. But that’s not why we’re telling you about Max Motors. No, we’re telling you because through May 31st if you buy a new car from Max Motors you get your choice of free gas card or handgun. That’s right, Max Motors is aware of both “the gasoline and crime problem [sic] in America.” And while to some throwing gas at a gas problem and guns at a crime problem is like throwing fire at a fire problem or fat at a fat problem, Max Motors sees it different. Explains sales manager Walter Moore, around Butler people believe in “God, guts and guns,” though they aren’t handing out free Bibles or chitlin’s. As you would (probably) expect, 80 percent of the customers are opting for the gun. And hey, why not? I just traded my Colt Python .357 Magnum for $250 worth of scotch and bourbon. The only drawback we see is that you don’t get the gun immediately (you have to pass a background check). Max Motors might be inadvertently setting up the world’s most ironic carjacking.