Car News Articles

As our story opens, ace salesman “Sharpie McDeal” (not his name, but that’s what I’m calling him) spies a customer entering his Studebaker dealership’s swank modern showroom. My comments are below the fold.

0:05 - We’re starting out well. Sharpie has on his finest Botany 500 suit and narrow tie; the showroom has that clean modern look; the Avanti is nicely displayed.

0:06 - “The Avanti! World’s fastest production car!” Way to hit the talking points, Sharpie!

0:11 - Sharpie! You doofus! An attractive lady customer is in your showroom ogling the high-end halo car, and you just told her she’s too old to buy it. (In living rooms throughout greater South Bend, Studebaker employees are wailing, gnashing teeth, rending garments, and throwing things at their TV sets in frustration.)

0:16 - First you insult her, then you send her down the street to the Oldsmobile dealer. (In the living rooms of South Bend, there are mutterings about tar and feathers. “Is GM paying him to sabotage our ‘63 model year?” they ask.)

0:18 - “Parking a big car is like coaxing a dinosaur into a cave backwards.” Preach it, sister!!!

0:36 - I’m of two minds here. On the one hand, Sharpie has recovered from his initial gaffe-fest well enough to get the customer interested in a Studebaker again. On the other hand, instead of up-selling her from a Lark to an Avanti, he’s down-selling her from the Avanti to the Lark. Sharpie, did the sales training seminar teach you nothing?

0:54 - Here we see Studebaker’s exclusive built-in vanity case. Nearly a half-century later, does Lexus offer one? Maserati? Mercedes? They don’t? Uncouth Philistines, the lot of ‘em!

0:59 - Disc brakes and a built-in vanity case–what else could you need?

1:08 - “What are you doing, ma’am?” “Obviously, writing a check.” Look, Sharpie my boy, when the customer starts handing you money, don’t argue with her!

1:19 - As Sharpie collects a commission he did nothing to deserve (and the citizens of South Bend decide maybe they won’t tar and feather him this time) Studebaker fans will take note of the Lark Wagonaire (a future Car Lust “Wagon Fever” subject) in the foreground.

One thing that strikes me about this ad is the interaction between Sharpie McDeal and his customer. It plays less like two people meeting for the first time, and more like a sketch from a long-running series. Were these two actors in a stand-up act or a variety show or sitcom together? I was a mere toddler when this commercial aired, and I don’t recognize either of them.

I should also say that I don’t think the humor in it has stood the test of time.

Finally, take a good look at that showroom in the last shot. This is mid-century aesthetics at a glance: men in suits, women in nice dresses with jackets and hats, tasteful wood paneling, clean straight lines, class. This is the culture that the Sixties “counter-culture” was countering. This is what the British Invasion invaded. This is what we lost at Woodstock.

I don’t think I’d necessarily want to live in that world full-time, but reviving a little of that pre-hippie swankness sure wouldn’t hurt. Failing that, I’ll take an Avanti with an R2 engine and a four-speed.

Hey, c’mon, the counter-counterculture has to start somewhere. Might as well be in my driveway.

–Cookie the Dog’s Owner